*A letter to Lily Jeanne I handwrote for her while pregnant and saved for later*
Lily.
Rebirth. Fresh life. Fertility. Purity.
For thousands of years people have valued the lily . For example, the first evidence came from the ancient Greeks in 1580 B.C. The Greek brides even wore a crown of lilies in their hair. In Chinese cultures lilies are brought to weddings symbolizing good luck. The fleur de lis has been on many coats of arms around Europe and is even a symbol of the French monarchy (and the New Orlean Saints).
Jesus spoke of the lily on the Sermon on the Mount when he said “Why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin” Later the Catholic Church adopted the white lily as the symbol for the Virgin Mary. Because of the symbolism of rebirth and the end of winter, lily is also associated with the second coming of Christ and it’s also the flower we see at Easter.
My favorite story about the lily is from the Buddhists. They place great value on the water lily and know that it will bloom the biggest and most beautiful from the deepest pits of mud underwater. It grows from deep under through muck with insects covering it to rise above the water unsoiled in a perfect white bloom. Despite being born into dark, murky conditions, the water lily rises above adversity, and ironically, this same dirty water washes it clean as it surfaces. As the lotus opens the inner perfect petals have never seen a drop of mud or dirty water. It is pure, and bright, and beautiful.
The mud represents the obstacles of life and its suffering. It's a common ground that all humans share, no matter what our stations are in life. We are all faced with the same obstacles: sadness, loss, illness, dying and death. And in order to grow as human beings and gain more wisdom and more compassion, we must strive to grow as the water lily and open each petal one by one.
Your dad and I had been praying for you since before you were born. We knew God would send us our Lily in His perfect timing, so we decided that after seven years of marriage we were ready to become parents when He was ready to give us you. As soon us as this was decided, there you were. The tiniest little ball of cells in my belly who was going to grow into the most perfect little baby. I told your daddy you were in there on Father’s Day, and we both cried tears of joy.
For months I held my hand over you at night on my many overnight shifts and long hours as a resident. The COVID19 pandemic was scary and my patients were all around ill. Even without a global pandemic, residency is a hard job. Little children went to heaven and grandparents and parents were not able to see their families while they were sick before they left this earth. Through liver transplants, open heart surgeries, 80 hour work weeks, and 24 hour shifts I was at peace knowing you were inside of me and safe.
It was risky for a mom to get COVID while pregnant, and we weren’t willing to take that risk. Your daddy and I spent our holidays alone in our new home this past year. We met trick or treaters with masks , made a thanksgiving dinner for two, and opened presents together on Christmas. We had your baby shower in December with Grandma Bell and Aunt Kris virtually on a laptop and your aunts and friends sent you sweet baby gifts to our house. In December I received my COVID vaccines and after a worldwide devastation it seemed that finally things were looking up, what another blessing sent from God.
I can’t wait for you to meet your daddy. He is the most loving and selfless person we will ever meet. He loves us both with all of his heart and soul and we will always be able to count on him. He will light up the room wherever he goes and I promise he will make you smile every single day. He will teach you patience and kindness. He will teach you to love others and put others needs before your own. He will always be eager to listen to you and he will help you follow your heart.
Throughout your life there will be days when life is hard, but we want you to know that you will be ok. Fires will come and bring sadness and pain, and some will be worse than others. Your dad and I will work forever to protect you when we can and we will pray for you every single day. You are always welcome in our home and in our lives . There is nothing in this world you can do that will make us stop loving you. Never be afraid to tell us anything, we are here to guide you, teach you, and help you be the best and happiest version of yourself.
"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Do not be afraid."
- Frederick Buechner”
You are Lily. You will continue to bloom.